“I
had recently gone no contact with my dad. The pain of his long-term affair with
my now-step-mother was bubbling up due to my own therapy, and he didn’t want to
speak to me about it. He refused to speak to me on Christmas Day, a time of
year he knows I struggle with deeply as it’s when my mother died. It was so
unbelievably callous and confusing… it felt like a bullet in my stomach. So I
decided to cut him off. Anyone who has done that knows it’s torture if you do,
torture if you don’t.
“This song was something I worked on through the worst of those
times. It took everything out of me, I still can’t hear it without crying. God
knows how I will sing it on tour.”