How do you write a metal memoriam for someone who’s made it all the way to hell? It awaits, he pursued, and then he went to find it, waving salutations and cheers to us from behind the flames, greeting us with mournful cries and reverse galloped thrash riffs that bend time and evoke evil. Imagine what kind of funeral for a man as such would suit? Eulogy after eulogy given by mild-mannered German relatives to a calm church room filled full of confused fans paying their respects. Everyone waiting for the tidal wave of blood to come bursting through the doors; enter Satan to collect his favorite rhythm guitarist from the urn. No applause, no cheers, just a silent stare into the deep red, knowing that Hell is happier having a full-time Hanneman in their grasp.
Indeed, Jeff’s memorial didn’t go anything like that. It was met with what most Slayer fans would expect: an outpouring of great respect for his contribution to heavy metal. Most of which can now be viewed in entirety on YouTube. That said, and perhaps most importantly, it was not held in a church.